I'm so happy!

I'm getting married on Dec 30th, in case ya didn't know and it's just going to be us and family at the JOP and then sometime next year when I have time to plan, we'll have a wedding.  I'm busy packing up my house and it's sooo empty!  It really is taxing to go through your household to move!  But it's worth it this time =) 

PLUS

I got a 4.0 this semester!!  You know what that means...I got an A...that's right, and A in Political Science.  I absolutely do not care for this subject at all, but I got an A!!  God rocks!

School

I have a love/hate relationship with school, but seriously, who in their right mind wouldn't?  I love learning, I really do.  With knowledge though, comes responsibility.  I have learned so much, as a history major, about the REAL history of the world.  With that comes my own opinions, as I don't let what I learn in school tell me how to think.  It's interesting, looking at the themes that come out in college and what I draw from them.  Like the history of Racism.  I was just blown away to realize just how racist our country has been and still is.  I really feel like anyone who looks "white" and wants to wave their little flag of how their ancestors were victims of a systematic racism, or how affirmative action is racist, really needs to sit down, shut up, and do the research, instead of repeating a few trite phrases made popular among various powerful racists.  Yes, that opinion directly reflects what I learned in my history class, but even more from that is I've come to realize how sad it is that we, as "white" people generally don't know our own heritage.  Our ancestors sold their souls for assimilation.  Think about it, the American Revolution sparked a wave of revolutionary fever that swept across Europe, not just immediately, but across several generations.  Imagine the "elites" of America at the time.  They were most likely of British descent.  Then all of the sudden (ok, not all of the sudden, but you get the point), masses come from across the ocean at the same time that revolutions are sweeping across Europe.  You want to know what kind of revolutions?  Where the poor and oppressed were standing up to their oppressors and taking control.  The elites of the United States certainly didn't want that, all these poor people coming into the U.S. combined with the slaves and former slaves, the Native Americans, the Hispanics, the Asians...this was a recipe for mass revolution.  Instead, the elites gave a classic line to the poor European newcomers (and the ones who were already here), "At least you're white."  Before that, Irish and Germans were seen as a completely lowly and subservient race to those of the British Isles.  Even the British and the French saw themselves as different races.  So basically our European ancestors sold their soul so they could be "white."  The idea of "white" didn't even exist, not the way it does now, until the mid-1800s.  My point is this, what if our ancestors hadn't bought that load of crap and instead took pride in their heritage?  Would we have some semblance of who we are as "European Americans?"  We'll never know, but it would be nice to carve out some sense of identity the way that the rest of America has done.  You want to know why we see a "Chicano American Studies" or "African American Studies" curriculum in schedules across the Universities of American?  It's because their heritage wasn't sold off to the lowest bidder, they've clung on to that heritage, or rediscovered it with a ferocity that is so intense and strong.  There are no "European American" studies available not because we have fallen victim to the "racist" schools (yeah right), who only want to promote non-white studies, it's because we, European Americans don't care enough.  Now, is that a good thing or a bad thing?  Let me know what you think.

No more Facebook for now

I deleted my Facebook account, for those of you who were dying to know! I might be back, but not until my life slows down some, I was spending wayy too much time on there and so I deleted all my friends, as deactivating makes it wayy too easy to reactivate.

Looks like we'll be getting married in January! Hopefully anyway, we plan on getting married as soon as we find a renter for my house, and it "goes on the market" on December 26th, being available for move in by the first! I have so much to do!

Have I mentioned that I'm a bit stressed out? I have four MAJOR tests to study for by the end of February! I have my GRE (entrance exams for Master's Degrees), a CLEP (more about that later), my promotion test in February, and my yearly language test at the end of January! Oh and I need to head off to school when I'm done here to pick up the rough draft of my senior thesis paper and revise it by the 10th. I still have a 10 page paper to complete for my Political Science class...I have one page so far. I need to find a home for my cat, I'm trying to lose weight, and I need to be moved out of my house by January 1st! Have I mentioned that I like stress? This summer I had not much to do, and I was so bored out of my effing mind! (Effing meaning Freaking, for future reference).

I can do it all though, that's not a doubt. What worries me is whether or not I can do it without it making me sick, as in lack of sleep or over worrying....but I just keep praying and I know God will have my back!

My cat is driving me nuts!

She is why I know I shouldn't have children...I get so angry at her when she meows...which is all the time, I have try my hardest not to throw the heaviest object I can find at her...how awful is that! It's definately a love/hate relationship...about 85% hate and 15% love...when she's sleeping. I need to find a shelter to take her (no-kill of course), but the only ones in San Antonio request that you call in the morning at 8:30 and they'll let you know if they have room, and if they do then you have to make an appointment that day...which for us working gals is just not feasable. So what do I do? I can't keep her after I get married, that's just out of the question, she really brings out a side of me that never ever comes out and I don't want anyone else ever to see the monster in me, plus if she can annoy the crap out of me, and I'm a pretty patient person, I can just imagine how M would respond to her. He's over at my house plenty, but I just shut her in the garage then, and since he's been doing a lot of work to my house lately, she's been in there a lot..which would be nice but she just makes up for it when I let her back in the house, and I just can't be mean enough to keep her in there all the time. She really deserves to be with an animal lover, which I wish I was, but I'm not, I 'm me and selfish and don't want to ever own another animal in my life. M has two dogs, but they stay outside and I'll just let him deal with them, I don't like them either, they slobber and always want to smell my private areas...GROSS!!!

How people define themselves

I love looking at the over genre of people's blogs, many of my friends define themselves by their motherhood, others define themselves by the degrees they have, are getting, where they go to school, their athletic accomplishments, etc. What I think is even more amazing is that some of my friends may let themselves be defined by something that the next person wouldn't think of. Some people have won many awards, but their definition of themselves may fall with their position at work; others have children but are defined by their art. Yet others have degrees but are defined by their art. Just an interesting observation. In case your wondering, I don't mean that being defined by something is to be limited by that same thing, I mean that it's what someone chooses to be their defining characteristic. Love you guys and gals!

The Phase I'm In

I'm on a big work-out kick lately and unfortunately, the more I work out, the worse I eat! I actually ran an extra 1.5 miles the other day just so I could get my beloved Panda Express! I also am disappointed because I am developing shin splints and running is the one exercise I have always managed to convince myself that I liked, now I have to do something else, but I want to do a half-marathon in October.

Last month

So last month I deleted all my posts, pretty much anything that could be found of me on the internet. I've decided it's okay to post again, but I've learned to be a lot more careful about my internet security. Somebody found something negative I wrote back in January and exploited it to make me look like a bad person. I won't go more into detail, except to say it was heartbreaking. I know I shouldn't have written what I did, but I did and I can't take it back. Anyway, I'm back, but more careful now about what I say.